The Chaiwallah’s got a Chaiwali

It has been the longest pause on Cutting the Chai since I first began blogging almost five years back. In fact if you look at the archives, February 2010 will be the only month that has gone postless since May 2005. And there were some pretty important reasons behind my absence here (though I had been tweeting a little). I got married.

Yes, the Chaiwallah has finally got a Chaiwali (though she prefers that, at home, I make the tea).

Its been a crazy last few months, juggling between work and arrangements for the wedding, now we are somewhat settling in into the new scheme of things. After a small ceremony here in Delhi (actually Noida) we went to Shillong (my home town) and then back to Delhi and then to Indore (her home town) and didn’t even have enough leaves left to plan a honeymoon (I’ll have to pay for that).

Soumyadip Varsha WeddingThe wedding went off fine and with family and friends around, it was the best time of our lives (yet). Only I goofed up missing out on inviting some friends (my mother ensured that all relatives were). Apologies buddies.

To make things simpler we opted for a marriage according to Arya Samaj rituals but that didn’t spare me the ignominy (that Bengali bridegrooms have to suffer) of wearing the tupur, courtesy my sis-in-law (No, I’m not going to post those pictures, atleast not here).

I was also live tweeting from my marriage ceremony. Here’s what my Twitter feed read that night:

About to tie the knot in some time from now.

Wedding photographers can be real pests, but then that’s their job.

Olive Garden in Noida Sector 52 is a nice place indeed.

@thecomicproject Oh yes!

@akgoyal She will, if she realises what I’m doing.

Damn feeling sleepy already.

The dulha always ends up hungry… for food.

And kids have the most fun at weddings.

Distant relatives getting the day’s update over the phone.

Cousins think that we are SMSing each other, while I’m just twittering.

Now my neice’s daiper needs to be changed.

Everyone in splits over a funny ringtone.

Round of jokes to keep everyone awake.

From suit changed to dhoti kurta and bhabi insisting that I wear the tupur (the joker-like cap)

Waiting for the bride… girls just can’t be on time even for their own wedding.


The problem of being the groom is that you can’t slip inside the quilt.

@Thecomicproject I waited for 8 years for this day… so impatience does creep in. Minutes become longer.

Even the bored panditji is giving Bhagwat Gita sermons to the photographer and the videographer.

And kids will cry and one will copy the other leading to a wail fest.

Coffee!

Finally the bride is here. Shouldn’t be tweeting during the ceremony.


Just married!

The combination of Vedic shlokas and snores was pure spiritual sloth.

Now for the bidai and the accompanying tears.

Intense discussion on about my brother’s ability to sleep with his eyes and mouth open.
via mobile web Now I can even think of venturing into the wedding planning business.

Also got to update my Facebook profile…okay that can wait for a few hours more.

The Chaiwallah’s now got a Chaiwalli.

The day after. Everyone’s still blissfully asleep.

And here’s me tweeting away:

Tweeting at Wedding

Me with the generation next:

Generation Next

The Chaiwallah with the Chaiwali at Shillong View Point, close to Shillong Peak – the highest point in Meghalaya.

At Shillong View Point

Chaiwallahs can be warriors to. In a traditional Khasi attire (they gave me a wodden sword, so that I don’t cause too much damage in my excitement).

In traditional Khasi dress

But being married shouldn’t change my blogging habits (atleast I would like to think so).

On a personal end life’s changed and now expecting that to happen in the professional sphere too. Will keep posted.

The title of the post is inspired from a congratulations tweet from Dhiraj Ramakrishnan (@stupendousman78)

“congratulations on the chaiwaali may be you need to start planning for the chotus”

The Chotus (or the Chotis) will have to wait, a little.

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Cutting the Chai Calendar 2010

Cutting the Chai Calendar 2010It’s that time of the year again. The beginning. And there are a lot of dates that we’d come across as we proceed further.

To make your year a little simpler, quite like the previous three, here’s Cutting the Chai Calendar 2010 in its fourth edition).

This one-page printable calendar (A4 size) in three different formats (PDF, JPG and GIF) comes with Indian holidays and festivals.

Download single-page A4 printable 2010 calendar

PDF [986 KB]
JPG [710 KB]
GIF [337 KB]

And don’t expect any babes in itsy-bitsy bikinis. Sorry to disappoint.

List of Indian Holidays and Festivals 2010
(Government of India’s official list)

Hope you have a wonderful 2010.

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Don’t Worry Your Holidays are Safe. Ignore that SMS

No space for new messagesMultiple instances of this SMS landed in my mobile’s inbox:

Sare papo ka saja agle saal milegi
holidays in 2010
26jan-sun
16mar-sun/holi
1may-sun
15aug-sun
2oct-sun
17octsun/dussera
5nov-sun/diwali
25dec-sunday

And in our holiday-obsessed nation it is spreading like wildfire.

But the fact is that most of the date-day combinations do not hold true in the calendar for 2010.

Here’s the official version [PDF] of the holidays in 2010.

Republic Day – January 26, Tuesday

Holi – March 1, Monday

May Day – May 1, Saturday

Independence Day – August 15, Sunday

Mahatma Gandhi’s Birthday – October 2, Saturday

Dussehra – October 17, Sunday

Diwali – November 5, Friday

Christmas – December 25, Saturday

So relax, most of the holidays (for those with a six-day week) are still safe. And just don’t frantically forward any SMS that comes you way.

Damn, for a moment I too was scared. Whew!

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Watch Online: Sant Tukaram (1936)

Sant Tukaram (1936) is one of the 20 greatest films ever made in India, according to T20 of Indian Cinema list at The 40th International Film Festival.

Since this movie was released more than 60 years ago, it, according to the Copyright Act of 1957 [PDF], is in the public domain.

Language: Marathi

Director: Damle and Fatehlal

Cast: Vishnupant Pagnis, Sri Bhagwat, Pandit Damle, Shankar Kulkarni, Kusum Bhagwat, Master Chhotu, B Nandrekar, Gauri

[Video source: taxpro999 on YouTube]

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Desi Jugaad: The Motorcycle Rickshaw

Motorcycle RickshawDesi jugaad or Indian ingenuity is legendary. Be it churning lassi in washing machines or using condoms to provide a smooth finish to tarred roads, necessity is the mother of amazing inventions in our nation. Even governments here run on jugaad.

Yesterday, in Vaishali, the boom town of Ghaziabad, came across a rickshaw that looked a little different, with headlights, indicators and all. On further investigation, discovered an engine beneath the seat.

The driver/owner of the rickshaw (I cannot recollect his name) says that his motorcycle rickshaw contraption is one-of-its-kind in the area.

He charges a premium of Rs 5 over the usual rickshaw fare in exchange for speed. Fitted with a moped engine, the motorcycle rickshaw (or should we call it a moped rickshaw?) gives 40 kilometres to the litre. He assures that his vehicle wouldn’t topple if it encounters a bump at 40 kmph (the top speed according to him).

Asked about braking, “Power brakes,” he replies with pride.

His only worry is that the transport department says that he cannot ply his vehicle without a license plate, something he expects to get soon.

With the narrow cycle rickshaw tyres, travelling at high speeds doesn’t seem to be a good idea. Moreover the absense of proper suspension wouldn’t make the journey very comfortable in the bylanes of Ghaziabad.

Photos

Watch slideshow in fullscreen

It is quite common to find carts (thelas) fitted with scooter engines on Indian roads, but it was the first time that I saw a petrol-powered cycle rickshaw. Do let me know if such example exist elsewhere.

By the way, what happened to the much hyped solar-powered rickshaws that were supposed to be launched in Delhi?

Video

And here’s a bit of rickshaw trivia. In 1902, hand-pulled rickshaws in Calcutta were priced at around Rs 160 to Rs 180. Would’ve been quite a sum then.

Related posts:

· The Maruti 800 Pick-up
· James Bond Drives a Maruti 800
· Agra on the move

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Ads for Oral Sex!

One day, in the comparatively innocent times that we grew up in, a friend announced, “I had oral sex.” I and another friend present were stupefied. We were still in school. “Come, again,” (no pun intended) we said. He repeated the four shattering words again, with extra emphasis.

Curious, we prodded for details and it turned out that our ‘sexually gratified’ pal had just talked a bit about sex with a girl on the phone. Being more enlightened, courtesy the agony column in The Teenager and quite a few magazines that we weren’t exactly supposed to read then, we let our naive friend know of the dictionary meaning of oral sex.

But the times they have changed. When school kids nowadays talk of love, it isn’t always platonic, as in our times (Damn, I already feel old).

Ads for oral sexEven newspapers do not shy away from advertising for fellatio services, as I discovered today. The massage parlour and escort services ads have been around for many years. Objections were raised, but such ads still fill in many column centimetres of the classifieds pages.

Since I’m on the look out for a new house, was scanning Times Classifieds, that comes along with the Sunday Times of India for properties. Under the ‘Massage Parlours’ head I discovered at least two ads quite brazenly peddling oral sex services. Only they interchanged a couple of letters (blowjob becomes blwojob), taking a cue from the spammers.

BANGKOK-STYLE-YOU-WORLD.CLASS Blwojob Ser Like Beautiful Charming Good Looking girl fully trained service staff CALL ASSH # 99********

REFRESHING.YOU-WORLD.CLASS Blwojob Ser By Beautiful Charming Good looking girl fully trained service staff Call KASHISH. 98********

Is it just me, or is there a striking similarity between the wordings of matrimonial ads and the ones above?

What’s next? Fcuk!

(This could have been around for longer, just that I happened to notice it today)

This is one dhandha that doesn’t go manda. Though I support legalising prostitution and quite agreed with the Supreme Court’s observations on legalising the trade, but it isn’t as easy a solution. Make a law and expect the world to fall in order.

The anti-legalising prostitution argument also makes sense (not the it’s-against-our-culture kinds).

Kinda confusing.

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MegaWhats 2009: The National Open Quizzing Championships

MegaWhats 2009 is a mega quizzing event to be held across nine cities across the country simultaneously.

It’s being held under the aegis of the Karnataka Quiz Association.

MegaWhats 2009

Details here »

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